The Big Exposé.

Sources have today revealed that the person known to many as Wonderin’Screib is in fact a long term patient at a, as yet, unnamed London hospital. The person using the nom de plume of onesole (this was originally arseole but was censored by the hospital administration because it was deemed unfit for public use and would have brought the hospital into disrepute) is in fact the lover of the aforementioned Wonderin’Screib who had a total breakdown on learning that she had an infatuation for a certain doctor and had been corresponding with him for some months.

Also the news was released that the hospital janitor (nicknamed alienspirits by other staff, because of his penchant to drink copious amounts of foreign beers) has been dismissed for allowing patients to use staff showers. Apparently he did this so that he could then photograph them, without their knowledge, and sell the photographs on the internet. Investigations are ongoing as to whether these incidents are related.

Wonderin’Screib had apparently been allowed access to a computer after she had been discovered in the library removing books from the shelves and then throwing them at visitors in the car park while shouting “Get out of my lane, you mingers”. When it was later discovered that Wonderin’Screib had been soliciting money for a fictitious manuscript the decision was taken to place her in a secure ward, where she now plays ludo with other patients and/or staff. Some have objected to her constant rendition of “Luck be a lady tonight” but her only response is that this is her blog and she will not be silenced.